Don't Get Caught Up In Your Title

It’s been almost two weeks that I’ve been in Cambodia and I can hardly believe it! We’re moving along very quickly, but I think I’m adjusting fairly well. Maggie and I arrived on October 2nd, after having left on the 30th, and while our flights weren’t that bad, I think the time change messed with us a bit. The time difference between Texas and Cambodia is 12 hours, so my days have become nights, and my nights days. However, I’ve adjusted okay. It gets dark in the evening around 6, and the sun rises at 5:30 every morning, so I’ve actually become a morning person. If you know me at all, that is a HUGE surprise. It is very hot here in Cambodia and a little bit more humid, but generally similar to Texas, so I’m able to withstand the heat… sorta. At orientation, we joked that Salesians love stairs. This is now a proven fact, as I have to climb four flights of stairs to get to my room. Those stairs are probably my least favorite thing in Cambodia.

Peeled and unpeeled longans. Looks like an eyeball, right?

The food in Cambodia has been very good and we’ve had lots of interesting dishes. Maggie and I have french bread in the morning, along with fruit, cheese and an egg, as well as coffee. We have lunch with the sisters, usually soup, rice, meat or fish, fruit and vegetables; this is usually the same for dinner. The fruit here is one of my favorite things about Cambodia. What is exotic and expensive in the states, can be found all over in Cambodia. My favorite has been longan (Chinese for dragon eye), a small fruit that you peel and kinda looks like an eye. The inside has a seed, but the flesh around it tastes like cantaloupe! It’s super yummy, even if it looks a little weird. 

Sr. Teresa celebrated her birthday on the 15th. She's unwrapping her gift while Sr. My Hanh holds it.

Maggie and I have really enjoyed working with the sisters so far. There are seven sisters who we live with, and they come from all over the world. I think it’s beautiful to have so many different influences from different countries coming together to make one community. They have been very supportive and helpful in our adjustment! Some of the students live outside of the compound, but many of them (about 40) stay in the dorm room. The girls range from 18-22, and go to school here for two years. They learn English, Speech, Health,  Accounting, and Cambodian History, as well as a labor law class that tells them about their rights after they become employed.  Maggie and I are teaching English to first and second year students, as well as Speech to the first year students. My girls are wonderful and so smart and I love them already!

 My English 1 class! These girls are awesome!

My name in class is Teacher Amanda, and the girls greet us at every class with “good morning teacher” in unison, to which I have learned to respond “saum angkuoy choch” which means please have a seat in Khemer, to which they bow and respond “thank you teacher.” These girls are super respectful and it really surprised me the first time, but I’ve gotten used to it now, and ability to stay perfectly in unison is really impressive. I feel like I’m already at a point where they are all my children and they are all just perfect to me. You know how parents feel that their child can do no wrong? I basically feel the same way about my girls.

But I will admit that I was super nervous to teach. Girls started moving in the first weekend, and immediately started calling me Teacher, which really threw me off. I’ve never really identified as teacher. For 17 years, I identified as a student; I’ve come to identify as a social worker within the past few years, but never have I considered myself teacher. My title as Teacher Amanda really started to make me anxious. What qualifies me to teach people? I don’t have any formal education to teach other people English. The more I thought about it, the more nervous I became. These girls are learning English because they need to, in order to get a good job and be more independent. Learning English isn’t out of luxury, but instead because they need to provide for themselves. When I reminded myself of this, I started to feel insecure about myself and my ability to teach. Am I a good enough teacher for these girls? I shared a bit of my anxieties with a local priest named Fr. Kevin. Maggie and Fr. Kevin are friends, and he’d stopped by to ask us if we were ready for our first day as teacher. As I explained to him how I was having trouble with identifying myself as a teacher, he stopped me and said, “Don’t get caught up in the title, just be present with the girls. Listen to them and teach them what you can. That’s all that really matters to them.” While that was a good reminder to let the title go and just teach what I know, my teacher title was still getting to me. 

My English 2 class! My class rocks!

As the first day arrived, I reminded myself to not let the girls see how anxious I am. Surprisingly, teaching came a little easily. I realized very quickly I needed to have patience. I am a generally patient person, but I have my moments. I have to be very patient when the girls pronounce their words. Sometimes the sounds are off, and we start all over, but they’re working so hard because they want to learn. I by no means will say that teaching is easy, because it isn’t, but I have found it easier than I anticipated. Maybe it’s because they’re closer to my age, or maybe it’s their genuine desire to learn, but it’s been great and I’m realizing I can teach English, regardless if I’ve any formal training to do so or not. I remind the girls to let me know when I’m speaking aside, and I’ve welcomed them to ask me anything they want to know so they can practice their English. After class today, one of my girls asked me if I would teach when I got back to America, and I said that’d I’d likely go back to social work- being a professional helper, as I have explained to the girls. She very quickly responded, “Well teacher, aren’t you HELPING me learn English?”

That’s when it hit me. It finally came full circle. I know social work and teaching aren’t separate, but I’m finally coming to terms with identifying myself as Teacher Amanda. Regardless my name, my goal here is to help the girls learn English and that is exactly what they’re going to do. In class we talked about sharing our talent, and I shared with the girls a verse from a Noah and the Whale song called Give a Little Love, “What you share with the world is what it keeps of you.” I explained that to them that I know English and I will share that with them so that they can know English too. Maybe someday they will teach someone else how to speak English, or teach a talent of theirs’ to someone else. Bottom line, when we die, we can’t hold on to anything, so it’s best to put it back in the world in hopes someone else can use it too. 

Sreypea and Mon are thinking about how to answer their daily question.

When I think about it, some of my best teachers have been the most unexpected ones. I have been called many things in my life; Amanda, Manda, Mandaminator, Laughing Auntie, Teacher Amanda. Regardless of what people may call me and how I identify, I need to remember that we all have our own talents, and that everyone can teach someone something, no matter who they are or their title.